Judgy Moms Are the Worst

I see a post that goes something like this every day.

“Today, I was out. My kids were crazy and some other mom/person said or did something that totally upset me.”

Kids are kids. Sometimes they do shitty things and sometimes strangers are assholes about our kids.

I’ve been there.

But, I’ve also been the judging mom. I won’t lie to you. I’m not proud of these moments, but sometimes I’m at my wit’s end, too.

Usually, the middle of said posts goes something like this.

“What this person doesn’t know is that I’m really having a rough day in some way that makes my feelings superior to theirs.”

What about that other person who judged you? Maybe they’ve had a shitty day, too. Maybe they’re hangry (hungry and angry) maybe it’s the death anniversary of a loved one, maybe they’ve been with kids all day and don’t want to listen to your kids. Maybe they’re just an ass. Clearly, this is all speculation from both sides.

Maybe we should just stop all the judgment. It is possible that the person who muttered those words felt immediate regret. Perhaps they’re like me and super terrible in social situations. Truly. There are days I dread leaving the house because I know I’m bound to say or do something stupid and have this entire story written about me portraying me in a way that my own children do not see. We all make mistakes.

The ending of these posts usually urges others to stop judging one another and just spread the love.

Pot meet kettle.

We’re all hypocrites at one point or another in our lives. I’ll be honest with you I’ve written posts just like this one. I shouldn’t have, but I did. I’ve judged other moms when it isn’t my place. I’ve also felt immediately terrible about my judgment, at times. Other times, I’ve been with my kids all day and just wish yours weren’t around If I’m being completely honest. I think parents are the ones who want adult only restaurants and movies for this very reason.

I’m not trying to be a jerk. I know there are often extenuating circumstances. I know we all have our bad days. I know there are parenting styles I’ll never agree with. I do my best, but we all have our limits.

If you’ve never judged, super kudos to you! However, maybe we should all think before we spread our stories about others. It only makes our companionship as women and mothers more difficult. Personally, I’m so terrified to speak to strangers because I don’t want my words misconstrued. I get nervous and stay stupid shit. I think a lot of us do. I would absolutely love to connect more with moms in the community but always hesitate for this very reason.

I understand getting upset because of what another says and does. Like I said, been there. Maybe though, we should take a moment to think about the other person before calling them out publicly. They might deserve it or they might just be having a bad day, too. I’ll do my best not to post crap about others and you can all call me out when I eventually screw it all up.

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9 comments

  1. Word. Yes, I think we’re all guilty at some point. We all parent different and that’s hard to remember sometimes. I totally get the not talking to other mom’s because of the awkwardness!! Why can’t we just relax & chat!? Nice post. πŸ‘πŸ‘ #awkwardmom

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Guilty as charged. Also have to admit to sometimes feeling a selfish sense of relief when I see other people’s kids acting up a little because it makes me feel like I’m not alone. My kids aren’t the only uncivilized beasts out there! lol

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Out of everything I’ve learned since having my first child almost five years ago, keeping my judgements to myself is a must since you don’t know every moms situation. I deal with postpartum depression from my last baby & sometimes my parenting reflects it. Sometimes I am not the best mom due to having my issues with depression but I try, & remember that I am their leader and I must stay strong. Being strong also entails showing my kids how to treat others, I certainly wouldn’t want them making rude comments about others so I keep my rather iffy comments to myself. I’ve done it too, but I feel guilty and try to maybe help if possible.
    Great post, I’m glad other moms put it out there how it is πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

      • Yup, we all do the best we can. Plus everyone has their own parenting style & respecting that is important as well. Like disagreements on punishments and things of the sort. Which is okay. We’re all entitled to our own opinions. Thanks for the great read & support as well!

        Liked by 1 person

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