I see a post that goes something like this every day.
“Today, I was out. My kids were crazy and some other mom/person said or did something that totally upset me.”
Kids are kids. Sometimes they do shitty things and sometimes strangers are assholes about our kids.
I’ve been there.
But, I’ve also been the judging mom. I won’t lie to you. I’m not proud of these moments, but sometimes I’m at my wit’s end, too.
Usually, the middle of said posts goes something like this.
“What this person doesn’t know is that I’m really having a rough day in some way that makes my feelings superior to theirs.”
What about that other person who judged you? Maybe they’ve had a shitty day, too. Maybe they’re hangry (hungry and angry) maybe it’s the death anniversary of a loved one, maybe they’ve been with kids all day and don’t want to listen to your kids. Maybe they’re just an ass. Clearly, this is all speculation from both sides.
Maybe we should just stop all the judgment. It is possible that the person who muttered those words felt immediate regret. Perhaps they’re like me and super terrible in social situations. Truly. There are days I dread leaving the house because I know I’m bound to say or do something stupid and have this entire story written about me portraying me in a way that my own children do not see. We all make mistakes.
The ending of these posts usually urges others to stop judging one another and just spread the love.
Pot meet kettle.
We’re all hypocrites at one point or another in our lives. I’ll be honest with you I’ve written posts just like this one. I shouldn’t have, but I did. I’ve judged other moms when it isn’t my place. I’ve also felt immediately terrible about my judgment, at times. Other times, I’ve been with my kids all day and just wish yours weren’t around If I’m being completely honest. I think parents are the ones who want adult only restaurants and movies for this very reason.
I’m not trying to be a jerk. I know there are often extenuating circumstances. I know we all have our bad days. I know there are parenting styles I’ll never agree with. I do my best, but we all have our limits.
If you’ve never judged, super kudos to you! However, maybe we should all think before we spread our stories about others. It only makes our companionship as women and mothers more difficult. Personally, I’m so terrified to speak to strangers because I don’t want my words misconstrued. I get nervous and stay stupid shit. I think a lot of us do. I would absolutely love to connect more with moms in the community but always hesitate for this very reason.
I understand getting upset because of what another says and does. Like I said, been there. Maybe though, we should take a moment to think about the other person before calling them out publicly. They might deserve it or they might just be having a bad day, too. I’ll do my best not to post crap about others and you can all call me out when I eventually screw it all up.