I’m Not Sorry I Gave You a Brother

Lately, I’ve read so many posts lamenting another child added to the family. Of course, I know these parents aren’t truly sad. Their love multiplies with each child and they learn what it’s really like to have the second one. It’s those early stages where they feel guilty.

When you reminisce about how you gave your time and all attention to one tiny human being, as opposed to sharing with others. All the fond memories of that extra time to do whatever the two of you wanted, instead of nursing, diapering, holding and caring for another infant while your toddler or child just want a second to show you their latest Lego invention. I totally get that.

However, I’ll never apologize to my son for giving him a brother. 

Personally, my son and I were lucky we did have quite a bit of time with just the two of us. He was four before his brother arrived and honestly very excited. Of course, I was nervous and uncertain, but his excitement did not dissipate upon his brother’s arrival, it only grew.

My fondest memory of my sons was when we came home from the hospital and I had to nurse the baby. I told my oldest we couldn’t do something because I had to nurse his brother and he said “okay, mom. I’ll just read to you while you feed him.” He had no clue how to actually read at this point, but he looked at the pictures and told us what everything was. I’ll never forget that sweet moment and the happy tears rolling down my cheeks.

As my kids get older and the toddler can steal his brother’s toys and hit, push, shove their brotherhood is not always as cohesive. I’m probably yelling at them at least twenty times a day, but I’ve never had a moment of regret for bringing a brother into my son’s world.

In fact, when we discovered our second child’s gender I told my son he was so lucky because he would now have a forever friend. I believe this to be true. He now has someone to be there and support him every day. His little brother is his biggest fan. He cheers for him at every sporting event. He helps him when he’s trying to sneak past mom. And yes, I know what’s going on you two. He will also be there as they get older. As life becomes more difficult and as decisions will have to be made for our lives he won’t have to do it alone.

So no, I’ll never be sorry I gave you a brother. I hope you truly remain best friends for life.

 

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8 comments

  1. We have four kids, all five and under. With each of them, I always wondered if the attention was going to be hard to split apart. It is such a tough thing to try and get over. But, I love that they have siblings!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. We’re expecting #2 and they will be three years apart. Our daughter seems pretty confident we’re having a girl (we don’t find out the gender) so I’m a little nervous she’ll be disappointed or upset if it’s a boy, but she is so excited to help care for the baby I can’t imagine not having a second child. But seriously, “okay, mom. I’ll just read to you while you feed him.” Too. Sweet.

    Liked by 1 person

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