Today’s post comes from Natalie of Babies and Backbends. She is a new mom to baby Richie, who is the happiest baby on earth! She lives in Long Island, New York and is a Publicist, who loves living next to the water. You can find her at her blog or on Instagram.
Six Lies Other Moms Will Tell You
That their newborn baby sleeps through the night
When Richie was just shy of three months, I had a friend tell me her baby (who is the same age as Richie) was sleeping through the night. Which most of the time means 6-8 hours straight. I remember feeling so bad about myself. What was I doing wrong? Why wasn’t my baby sleeping through the night? I was rattled. I read articles online, I tried swaddling him differently, I tried noise machines, I tried everything you could think of. I felt so down about myself. Then, the more I read and the more I spoke to other moms, I realized it wasn’t true. And if it was, it definitely only happened a few times.
Here’s why. If you are breastfeeding your baby, there is absolutely no way your baby will sleep through the night. AND they shouldn’t. Breastfed babies need to eat every 2-4 hours throughout the night and if they aren’t up to eat, you need to wake them. Once babies are no longer newborns, they don’t need to eat as often through the night but that doesn’t mean they will sleep. So, if someone tells you that their baby sleeps through the night every night, they are lying. Their baby MAY have done it a few times but I’m telling you that babies aren’t robots and there is zero way this happens every single night for them. Don’t kill yourself. You are doing an amazing job.
Feeding the baby cereal at night will make them sleep longer
Your parents, grandparents and aunts will tell you to do this. They will tell you to feed your newborn baby cereal in a bottle so that they will sleep through the night. “We did it and you are ok!” That’s what they will tell you. But guess what? There is more research today and the research says, DO NOT do this. Why? Because your baby has a very big chance of choking and there little bellies can’t handle it. There is also research that suggests it leads to obesity. Want to know the best reason? It doesn’t work! Once my son turned 4 months (recommended time to start solids), I gave him cereal and it changed nothing. It’s a myth. Don’t fall for it.
They have time to work out, get their hair done, or doing anything for themselves
Let’s be real these things are for the moms who have nannies or a lot of help from family members. If you are on your own raising your kid, these things are just not happening because when you do get a second to yourself you will use it to sleep, zen out in a quiet room or just chill. And that’s coming from me, I can be vain and always want to look my best, but after a baby, it just comes last. Taking care of your baby then yourself by getting rest so that you can take care of them takes priority.
That they don’t feel sad sometimes
Babies make you over the moon happy. They are a blessing. They bring so much joy to your life. But, motherhood can make you sad sometimes and it’s totally normal. You lose a piece of yourself when you have a baby. You miss out on things you used to do so freely. You struggle to figure who you are – a mom, a career woman, a working mom, a wife, etc. Unfortunately in this world, you need to make great money to cover daycare so being a working mother is sometimes out of the question. Then there is the guilt, anxiety, and nervousness of leaving them to go back to work. For me, there was and is, the struggle of figuring out how to have it all. How can I have a successful career, be an amazing mom and wife, get in shape, have nice things, a beautiful home…the list is endless. I still struggle to figure this out and what I remind myself is that other moms put up a front that they have it altogether. It is absolutely impossible. We aren’t superheroes. What it’s important is that we find the few things that make us most happy and focus on them.
You’ll forget about childbirth after you hold your baby in your arms
This one is my favorite. You will only forget the pain of childbirth if you actually ingest the drugs they offer you after the birth of your baby and then never stop taking those drugs. It’s a myth. You will never forget the pain of childbirth. But the craziest part is that it likely won’t prevent you from doing it again. I, personally, would do it 10 times over.
That they napped when their baby napped
Who are these people? If you enjoy living in squalor amid mounds of dirty diapers, go ahead and nap when the baby naps. If you don’t mind giving up your chance to jump in the shower or empty the dishwasher, go ahead and nap when the baby naps. But if you don’t have tons of help or anyone dropping off dinner, you may need to accomplish something when the baby naps. Just saying.