I Became the Mom I Swore I Would Never Be And I’m Okay With It

Last night I was reading an amazing article from Pint-Sized Treasures, she mentions the 9-bad habits of toddlers that need to be broken.

I found the list to be wonderful and startling. Wonderful, because I believe she is correct and startling because I realized I was letting my toddler get away with some of these.

The very things I swore up and down I would never let my children do and secretly admonished all moms who were letting their kids act this way.

I read this article last night and did not realize my mistakes, until this morning. My son and I were sitting down to eat and he started to throw his food. As I was sitting there watching him it dawned on me “holy crap, this is happening because I let it.” Yes, kids are there own little people, but I would have never in a million years let his older brother get away with this.

When his brother was little I just took away the food when he started to throw it and that was that. 

Why was I being so different with his little brother?

I believe it all started out in his first few months of life. He was our miracle, rainbow baby and he is also our last baby. I believe these are the excuses I have made up for my terrible mom behavior.

It began with sleep. Sure, my first son was born a pretty good sleeper, but I also made sure to let him cry himself to sleep and when it was nap time, it was nap time, no if’s and’s or but’s to the situation.

With my younger I have let a lot of things slide. Starting with sleep. When he would wake I would immediately rush to his aid and I never let him learn to cry it out. This was in part, because neither my husband or I could stand to listen to him cry, but also, because I knew that he was my last child and wanted to take every chance to hold him. This has definitely turned on me. I do not regret all of our snuggles, but he is also terrible at sleeping. I wish I had found a happy medium for this situation, if that’s even possible.

Once I let his sleeping slide, I became less strict on a lot of things.

Well, he is too little to understand hurting, hitting, biting and kicking his brother.

Oh, it’s just funny. He’s not hurting anyone.

I now see I was very wrong.

My old self would be very ashamed.

Then I had another epiphany. Yes, I am more lenient with my second child, but so what!

Maybe I was too strict the first time around? 

What I’m saying is there is no way to be a perfect parent. 

Yes, I really would like my toddler to stop throwing his blocks and hitting his brother so we’re working on it, but I really don’t care about some of the other things anymore. 

If he doesn’t want to sleep and wants to come cuddle with me in bed. I have absolutely no problem with that. 

Perhaps having a second child has shown me a happy-medium to parenting I had never seen before.

Also, I no longer secretly admonish other moms. I now realize I have no clue what is going on in their lives and give them the benefit of the doubt. Anyway, it’s really none of my business. 

  
 

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